The Greatest Political E-Mail, Ever

June 27, 2017

By: Heather Ryan

SURPRISE!  “The World’s Greatest Campaign Video” has been followed up with “The Greatest Campaign E-Mail in History”!  As one can imagine, following up the worlds greatest video with the worlds greatest e-mail, during this time of hyper-political creativity, is no small feat!

Unlike the recent fundraising e-mails that deluged Democratic donors in the Wyoming and Georgia special elections, this e-mail doesn’t pander to fear by insisting the world will soon end without a sizeable donation.  Instead, with a breath of fresh air and a slight tinge of biting humor, the e-mail asserts, “… we need to buy stuff and get places …” and asks for supporters to “pony up” as little as $5 later in the message (see entire e-mail text below).

This is the Greatest Political E-Mail in History!

If you opened the e-mail I sent you a few weeks ago, you’ve already seen the Greatest Campaign Video in the History of the World (above).  But this time we’re sending the video to you with an ask for money! 

Let’s face it, campaigns take at least some dough to be considered a real challenge to the status quo (in this case, sneaky snake, Republican David Young).  We could do a traditional campaign ask with a passive-aggressive push for you to open your wallet by insisting that the world will end if you don’t pony up by midnight.  (Hmph, we may just keep that in our back pocket for a later date).

But for the time being, I’m just going to let you know that we need to buy stuff and get places and we could really use your help achieving this goal.  The FEC reporting deadline is Friday, June 30th.  So if you can chunk in some cashola right now, it could literally make David Young pee his pants.

CLICK HERE to chip in $5 or more.  That is slightly more than a half-price large iced coffee costs between 2-6 PM at Dunkin’ Donuts, but I have foregone that luxury for the day, so I am confident that you can make that sacrifice too.

Seriously, you need to use THIS LINK to make a contribution.  Like.  Right.  Now.  Then, you can share your generosity with a Brag-Book post to your social media pages by saying that you gave to the most innovative campaign in Iowa’s history!

You can learn more about my campaign through my FACEBOOK page or WEBSITE (click on these links after you have ponied up through the links above).

Thank you so much for opening this e-mail, reading it to the end and not reporting it as Spam!  Your continued support is greatly appreciated!

Heather Ryan
Democratic Candidate, IA-03

Now, if you noticed the similarities between the “by line” and subject matter of this story, a big KUDOS goes to you!  You obviously have some much-needed skills of observation that seem to be severely lacking in the world today.  But as you probably already know, because you read articles to the very end, Napoleon started the trend of Political Puffery when he purchased newspapers to write positive stories about him.  Consider me a brazen student of Napoleon without the blood-thirsty desire to rule the world.

 

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